moreincommon | 013 ☺ Voice ☺ I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege

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013 ☺ Voice ☺ I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege

Um, look.

Not really being much of a fighter or a genius on the fly, I'm not sure how much I can help in this upcoming port. What I can do is ask the Admiral for supplies of basic survival gear to pass out to anyone interested. I'm talking backpacks, waterbottles, compasses, tents, freeze-dried food, rain ponchos, flashlights, emergency blankets, that kind of thing. I'm going to try to start putting together packages for any teams that might go out, and if you want one, please let me know.

[Private to Satsuki]
How have you been feeling lately? I wanted to talk to you about your friends again.

[Private to Junko]
It has been a long time since I heard from you. What's going on in your life? Are you still despairing?

[Private to Anya]
I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. You wanted to talk?

[Private to Megamind]
...Is there any chance you're free for some video games tonight?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That is a possibility, especially if it's the first time you've felt this way. But we're still going over the hows and what-ifs here.

It isn't the first time I've felt this way.

It just. It's never been this bad before.

In no way are you the only one going through this. There are people of every race and species I've ever heard of with same-sex attractions. [That is, if that species has more than one sex.] It's normal, and healthy, but it can be terrifying to deal with. As for being attracted to a close friend, that's, well, that's always awkward.

[With sudden aggression]

It is not normal.

God damn it, Lilly, it's not the friend part, it's the gay part.

Christ...

Why do you say that?

Edited 2013-05-14 18:52 (UTC)

[He manages to look up enough to give Mark an incredulous look]

Are you serious? God, how can something be less fucking natural? God himself comes right out and says it's fucked up.

So you're concerned about religious judgment?

I'm concerned about not going to Hell, yeah. I'm concerned about losing my friends, my family, never fucking having kids, being alone for fucking ever..

No one goes to Hell for being gay. Trust me, I've been there.

Let's put those last two on the back burner for now. Your family's not very accepting of gay people, I take it?

No one goes to your world's Hell. My Hell could be completely different. You don't fucking know.

[At that, Chris gives a disbelieving snort, rubbing his eyes with a hand]

I don't know much about religion but one of the basic points is that God loves everyone, right?

Okay, your family might not be cool with it. But honestly, how do you think your friends would react if they found out about this?

Yeah. When you don't sin, and when you don't fuck up. He can love you, you're still going to hell.

I think they'd pretend like they were cool with it to not hurt my feelings.

Everyone sins, though. So He's got to have some sympathy, right?

But you're afraid they'd act different after that?

So you know how He thinks now? You're that good a therapist?

Yeah, and they'd have a fucking right to. I'm sick.

I know He made everything and is supposed to be pretty nice. I also know that homosexuality is common in the animal and plant kingdoms, and 10% of people identify as gay. Including some of your friends, I bet.

Cut yourself a little slack here, okay? You haven't done anything wrong.

So because everyone does it, it's okay? What kind of messed-up logic is that?

[He rolls his eyes, but at least puts a lid on that line of dialogue for now]

Of course not! But a behavior that appears all over nature in healthy individuals shows it's not that strange.

Let's turn this around. Say, for a moment, that you didn't feel this way at all and a friend of yours told you they think they might be gay. How would you react to that?

I'd stop being friends with them really fucking quick.

And why's that?

Because they're sick and they need help.

Look, I read up on these camps and shit in my world, right? You go there, you stay for a summer, you come back and you're not gay anymore.

I think we need to do something like that. Only in a shorter amount of time because I don't know if I can make the whole summer.

Reparative therapy is a bad idea. These camps exist to pressure people into denying feelings they'd be better off confronting, they don't turn you straight. Most people come out feeling much worse about themselves than when they went in. Not to mention that no psych or medical authority recognizes it as a legitimate practice.

I don't want to confront these feelings, Lilly. I want them gone. Camp's better than nothing.

Or fuck, maybe I can get one of the psychics to mess with my brain chemistry or something.

Have you looked into what therapy techniques they use in those places? I really don't think drug-based aversion therapy or shock treatment will do anything to help you here.

Before you do that, let me ask you something. Earlier you said this was something you knew you shouldn't do despite the emotional reward. What exactly is that emotional reward, for you?

...I don't know, like. Holding hands, making out. Committed relationship, shit like that.

I mean, we do..the hand-holding kindergarden shit but I think that's mainly because he's got this thing about hands. Not that he's gay.

I'm like 90% sure he's not gay.

Context aside, that doesn't sound like a bad thing to want.

Well, what would you do if he was? Would that be scarier than going through these feelings alone?

Edited 2013-05-15 00:42 (UTC)

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