Have you looked into what therapy techniques they use in those places? I really don't think drug-based aversion therapy or shock treatment will do anything to help you here.
Before you do that, let me ask you something. Earlier you said this was something you knew you shouldn't do despite the emotional reward. What exactly is that emotional reward, for you?
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Before you do that, let me ask you something. Earlier you said this was something you knew you shouldn't do despite the emotional reward. What exactly is that emotional reward, for you?